The temperature has started to cool. The geese have started to migrate. The stick and string have been dusted and hunting season is right around the corner. And FOOTBALL IS FINALLY BACK!!!! There’s a certain schedule that I go through every year and it mostly revolves around college football. With the New Year comes the big time bowl games, and now, the College Football Playoff. After the national championship is played I immediately fall into a depression worthy enough for an Edgar Allan Poe novel. I usually stay in this depressed state until sometime after the last frost, and crawl my self out of my deep dark hole sometime around the Masters. I then become semi-anxious as I start to scout college football teams across the country, but my anxiety is quickly cooled when I realize I still have roughly 5 months before I will see the pigskin fly. As August roles around my anxiety level climbs to a level somewhere between Jerry Tarkanian and Leo Mazzone. In fact as I write this article i’m rocking back and forth on my couch while munching on a towel. As I do every year, I will reveal my preseason picks. Keep in mind I had an atrocious record last year. Also, keep in mind that everyone had an atrocious record last year including many of the so called experts. Last year was an anomaly that comes around college football every 7-8 years. Its that perfect time when the stars align and somehow all 128 NCAA teams seem to be evenly matched. This year will be different, at least that’s what I always say on August 27th.
SEC Preview
I’ll start with the SEC because well…..quiet frankly its the best damn football in the land. Although the SEC west got dismantled in the post season they’re still the best division in college football. My first team out of the west and my pick to represent the SEC West in the SEC Championship is……
- LSU- A lot of people are writing the bayou bengals off because of their quarterback situation. The quarterback situation isn’t THAT bad. LSU has a man child at running back and an one of the best offensive lines in the country. The bengals also boast a talented and deep receiving core. The offense is loaded and will be the strength of the team. Surprisingly, the defense is the biggest question mark for the mad hatter. John Chavis departed for Texas A&M and Kevin Steele comes from Bama to take over. Steele was defensive coordinator at Clemson before going to Bama and his Clemson defenses were solid. The defense does lose a lot of production along the defensive line and within the linebackers. The schedule is brutal, especially at the end, but who’s schedule isn’t brutal in this division? Bottom line is the offense will carry this team and the defense will be talented enough to make critical stops. Bengals return to Atlanta for the first time since 2011.
- Alabama reloaded everywhere except for quarterback. Obviously, Jake Coker isn’t the QB that everyone in Tuscaloosa thought he was. The offensive line loses 3 starters and all world receiver Amari Cooper is Straight IN Compton. If your counting, that’s a lot of puzzle pieces to put together for one offense. On the other side of the ball its a different story. This is the deepest and most talented defense Saban has had since 2011. The defense will be one of the best in the country but they may have to score some points as the offense will struggle.
- Auburn- I’m not sold on Jeremy Johnson. Sure he has a cannon for an arm, sure he’s been in the system for two years, but the offense just didn’t seem to run as smoothly when he was in the game last year. Auburn fans forget how quick Nick Marshall was to react. Reaction is the biggest x factor in Malzahn’s offense and the QB will have to be quick because the interior offensive line is depleted. The tigers don’t have a proven running-back either. The tigers/war eagles/whatever do have a beast at receiver in lkjljlajlfjjfd’lile Williams, or as the announcers pronounce it….Duke. If i’m not sold on Jeremy Johnson I am sold on Will Muschcant (pun intended). This is the most talented defense that Muschamp has ever coached…..period. The tigers will be a tough out for any offense.
- Arkansas- Brett Beliema has the hogs on the brink. Pig Sooie is almost there, but not quiet. The offense will be outstanding as most of the offensive line returns and two 1,000 yard rushers from last year. The defense will suck! Sorry Arkansas fans that just how the cookie crumbles.
- Ole Miss- Ole miss will take a step back this year as they loose a ton of production on the defensive side of the ball. The offense will be similar to last year and fans nationwide will be glad to know they don’t have to see Bo Wallace mouth breath anymore. A couple upsets here and there and the Rebs might be right in the thick of things.
- Texas A&M- The aggies should improve upon last year, but so did the rest of the SEC West. The Aggies could probably win the ACC Coastal, the Big 12, the PAC 12 South, and the Big Ten West, just not the SEC West.
- Mississippi State- Let’s face it the bulldogs played out of their minds last year. Dan Mullen isn’t that good and last year was the first year he did anything significant. This year the dogs loose way too much on both sides of the ball. Mississippi State will be the worst team in the west by a long shot. Dogs will be the only west team to not make a bowl game.
Overall: There are 3 teams in the SEC West that could end up winning the division, conference, and national title. Those are the top 3 teams above. The West is absolutely loaded this year and no team will come out of the regular season unscathed.
The SEC East
- Georgia – I usually don’t make picks with my heart. However, my mind keeps telling my heart that this is the year the Dawgs put it together. Sure, Georgia doesn’t have a QB at this time, but they have everything else. A close friend of mine said he thinks this is the best offensive line the Dawgs have had since Jon Stinchcomb roamed the sidelines, and I agree. You put the best running-back in the nation behind these hog molleys and you don’t really need much of a quarterback. Sony Michel is the third best running-back in the SEC East behind his teammate Nick Chubb and Tennessee’s Jalen Hurd. There’s a ton of talent at receiver but its mostly inexperienced, and the Dawgs will need someone to step up. The tight-end position is absolutely loaded and new offensive coordinator Brian Schottenheimer loves the tight-end. The defensive side of the ball is the deepest its been since Greg Blue was decapitating receivers. The inside linebacker position is the only question mark on this side of the ball. Expect the Dawgs to pound the other team into submission by giving Chubb and Michel the rock over and over again. Dawgs make it to Atlanta!
- Tennessee- Rocky Top is rocking with anticipation for this season. The Vols return most of the offensive line (that sucked last year), a stud running-back, talented experienced receivers, and a solid tight-end. The defense only loses 3 starters from a year ago and is as talented as any defense in the country. But…..not so fast…..Butch has to prove to me he’s the coach that every hillbilly in Tennessee thinks he is. Easier said than done.
- Missouri- Not a lot to say here other than Gary Pinkel. The tigers are continually inferior in talent to other SEC teams but Pinkel keeps them in the fight, expect more of the same.
- South Carolina- The Cocks are trending down and don’t expect that stock ticker to start climbing this year. Too many questions on the offensive side of the ball and a brutal schedule may put the Cocks bowl season in jeopardy.
- Florida- I really want to put the Gators at 4b because they’re about as good as the Cocks. The gators only have like 6 offensive lineman on the roster and they’re breaking in a new offense with no talent at the quarterback position. Gator Nation will have to give it some time.
- Kentucky- Trending up. Kentucky could pull some upsets and possibly end up 3rd or 4th in the SEC. Expect Mark Stoops to get some job offers after this year.
- Vandy- Much of the same for the commodores.
Overall: It comes down to the Dawgs and the Vols. I believe Georgia’s only loss will come at Tennessee in October, but Tennessee will lose more than 1.
SEC Champ: The Georgia Bulldawgs. This is the year the dawgs put it all together. The focus during this summers’ camp has been on TEAM. There have been zero off-season arrests or suspensions for the dawgs and minor injuries thus far. The dawgs have the right mindset heading into the season. In fact Nick Chubb stated, “the team is ready for a national title, we’re tired of losing to teams we shouldn’t lose to.” The recruiting at UGA has never been this high and the combination of defensive coordinator Jeremy Pruitt, and incoming offensive coordinator Brian Schottenheimer will put the Dawgs over the top!
Big Ten
OHIO STATE. Nobody comes close. Unless J.T. Barrett crashes a moped with Cardale Jones riding bitch into a smart car filled with Joey Bosa, Ezekiel Elliott, and Rakwon McMillian there’s no chance that the Bucks don’t win this conference. The two teams from Michigan will give the bucks their biggest challenge but they’ll come up just short. Ohio State will run the table and be the #1 seed in the 2015 College Football playoff. And that’s all I have to say about that.
ACC
Clemson vs Va Tech for the ACC Championship. Florida State makes an argument as they always do but I believe Clemson’s offense will be too much to handle this year. Va Tech will be vastly improved and should make it to the conference championship. Teams to consider: Georgia Tech, Miami, and Florida State.
BIG 12
Baylor wins this one. The only player the Bears legitimately have to replace is the quarterback. Oh, and that quarterback threw for 1,000 yards last year. This is a plug and play offense and the Bears will score plenty and be stronger on defense. Teams to consider: TCU, and OKlahoma. TCU will have their shot and should be similar to last year, however, the horned frogs lost a ton of production off the defensive side of the ball. Oklahoma will be better than they have been in 3 years and could easily challenge for the Big 12 title.
PAC 12
USC vs Stanford for the PAC 12 title. USC is back! The trojans are loaded on both sides of the football and unless Steve Sarkisian decides to blast jager bombs and xanex all season they should win the South. Stanford should be back to the old Stanford this year. The Cardinal have all the tools to be that power house football team we’re used to. I look forward to this championship game as the winner of this will be a favorite to win the college football playoff. Teams to consider: UCLA, Arizona State, and Oregon
2016 College Football Playoff
1. Ohio State 2. Baylor
4. Georgia 3. USC
2016 National Title
- Ohio State VS 3. USC
2016 National Champion
University of Southern California
TheSlopChute 
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